Michael Jackson

Well, it's pretty much old news now that Michael Jackson has left us. I was in fourth grade and living in the Seattle suburbs when "Thriller" first came out. I remember I had 5 Michael Jackson pins and obviously my copy of "Thriller" on cassette that I'm surprised lasted as long as it did for having been played so much. As time went on, I relocated with my family to Connecticut after my 6th grade year and that ended the happy memories I had of my childhood as the town we relocated to was a bit of a culture shock for me. Not long after I moved there, Michael Jackson had put out "Bad" which didn't have the appeal that "Thriller" had but still made me think back to living in Washington state and all the people who were a part of my life there. I remember the boat my father had which found itself in Lake Sammamish, Lake Washington or Lake Union almost every weekend possible. I remember the architecture of the houses, the layout of the schools, the mountains, the trees and overall just pure happiness. Maybe that happiness was just ignorance of the real world. Nonetheless, if I could relive any part of my childhood, my time in Seattle would be it. Time stood still and I had plenty of friends to bide my time. What seemed like all the while, Michael was playing in the background.

Now he's gone. A major contributor to the soundtrack for the happiest time in my childhood is gone and unlike so many other performing artists that have died during my time on this earth, his death hurts. If I had to guess why it hurts like it does, I would guess that it is because memories don't last for me now and any memories I may have are valuable to me. Ever since my last time in Iraq, I have struggled to remember even some of the happier times in my life - but they've all been wiped out of my memory banks. Fortunately, every time I heard some music from that time I can remember little bits of being in one place or another. Michael Jackson always brought me back to Bellevue, Seattle, Mercer Island, YMCA summer camps, soccer, fourth grade, break dancing, SeaFair........ Just happiness.

What I can't believe is the merciless way people are treating his death. It has gone from tragedy to travesty and fodder for rumors and speculation. This has happened and it happened in no time flat. All the talk of Michael's debt, who's getting his kids and why he died has become the focal point of his death rather than the fact that 25 years after what most would call his most relevant work, he could still pack stadiums and collect premium prices for each seat. There weren't many other performing artists that would have turned down having Michael Jackson collaborate with them on a song. Bands such as Alien Ant Farm re-made songs of his and did so tastefully. Despite his very sad personal life, Michael Jackson was a legend in his own time. Any time the television, the papers or the internet has something to say about Debbie Rowe claiming that the children she's mothered aren't Michael Jackson's hurts and angers me. Why is it that he's not been buried yet and already, people are trampling on his grave? The bitterness which has spawned the lack of remorse in Mrs. Rowe has created a caricature of a true worldwide superstar as a dysfunctional freak. Even as I sit here and think about it, the thought saddens me almost to tears. I guess I'm just being protective of someone who is such an integral part of the fondest childhood memory I have and I don't want him turned into something he has never been to me. Even at 36 years old watching his videos on Youtube, I feel the child I used to be wishing I could have met him or that I was able to dance like he did. Nothing is sadder than knowing that I'll never see him dance again but through his old videos. I always excused the plastic surgeries and the skin pigmentations and I never believed that he mistreated any child that he allowed in his home. If it's alright with everyone else, I'll stick with those opinions.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way. To watch clips of his performances in various countries and see how people in the audience still cry and faint like they did in 1983 makes me wonder how there's anyone who is capable of, for lack of a better term, trying to villify Michael Jackson. Without trying, the man brought people together. He loved the world and he tried to make us all smile. He made grown-ups and children alike happy, even if only for a few minutes at a time. The way he met his end is tragic. I think he died of a broken heart. Honestly, the way he was treated by the media that put him on such a pedestal most of his life also hung him in effigy and cast doubt into the minds of one-time fans. I can see why that might be too much to bear for one person. When I heard that Michael Jackson died, part of me died too. I will forever listen to his songs, trying to recapture the same happiness I felt as a child while listening to his music. I'll miss you Mike. You are not alone.