Mixed Bag

Well, Im just kind of rambling on today. Nothing noteworthy is happening. I'm on day 3 of my creatine load phase and really am past drinking this shit 4 times a day. For that, Friday couldn't come fast enough. I think the psychological edge has paid off as most of my weight numbers have gone up this week so far. I guess the proof will be when in 6 weeks they've continued to go up and I'm putting up what in my estimation are impressive numbers.

Found out my oldest daughter, who tested at gifted levels, has pushed off a school project she's known about since this past Friday. Oh well, it's not my grade. A book she needed to do the written portion of an assignment (now that the cutesy costume part is over, which of course she was all about) was in a bag that her mother asked both her and I to remember to bring with us today in our travels. If you haven't guessed yet, this didn't happen. Should I have had to share in the fallout that resulted for this not happening? Probably not. It wasn't my assignment, it isn't going to be my grade and ultimately, what she fails to share with her classmates about centipedes isn't going to keep her from going to an accredited state school. If she doesn't go to Tech (which seems to have a developed a penchant for violent students yet people seem to keep pushing her in that direction - she's 7 years old), she'll go to Mason, a far less competitive yet equally accredited school and she'll still get a job after college. However, I'm starting to get the feeling that her mother cares about her academic well-being more than she does. With all these over-the-top ideas for projects and costumes, what is all this stress my wife is putting on herself contributing towards my daughter's academic future? Probably not much.

The winter had finally unleashed it's fury on us. The only thing that makes me a bit nervous is that my car is shit on frozen roads. Her'e s a little something people don't know - 9 times out of 10, it isn't a person's car that doesn't so well in incliment weather, it's operator error. I am an outstanding driver and I can't seem to keep my car pointed forward, not even if it had 4 brand new tires and a full passenger load to hold it down. The car's engine is just too much for it's weight. But, it's the choice I made when I bought it, so it's the battle I'll fight until all that wintery shit is off the road. Doesn't hurt that I'll get 3 new tired in 2 month's time as I got one a few months ago as part of an accident claim. I can't wait till spring because that car needs a thorough cleaning. I can't wait to get that car back to what it should be. I'll be cleaning my wife's car too, but that thing is getting increasingly hopeless. I can't wait to pay that piece of shit off and get rid of it so we can get her a classy car that will stay clean. Why will it stay clean? Because like my car, the kids will not be allowed to eat in it until they can prove that they have etiquette and manners better than most barnyard animals.

I've gone through a surge recently of getting new friends on Facebook. It's cool that I'm running into these people and I enjoy talking to them when I can. Some of them I'm speaking to for the first time and we're just now getting to know one another. For me, that's probably better because I don't need these people remembering what a tool I was back in high school (I was a tool before tools were discovered.) I'm not sure what exactly happened to put me into the tool category... I at least had looks going in my favor. I was symmetrical, not deformed in any way, no discolorations, nothing wrong with me at all and yet, I wasn't one of the preps/facemen. It probably had something to do with the fact that I didn't really fit into any one category that any of the high schools I went to contained. I didn't smoke so I couldn't be a 'smoker bad-ass' in school. I wasn't athletically gifted, but I'd like to think the amount of heart I put into everything made up for that. I had only a so-so wrestling career, I made big plays in football (when I was put in to play) and I didn't do too badly at lacrosse, but experience kept me from playing on even JV. The one athletic type thing I had any aptitude in wasn't celebrated on any one campus I found myself on - martial arts. I had a minimal amount of formal training, so I just learned from whoever was willing to teach. I ended up doing OK at it, but I think that it helped widen the divide between myself and the rest of the student body. I'm not sure why. My point being that I wasn't a jock, either. I didn't carry many friends throughout high school, but that never seemed to bother me. What did bother me was the fact that I couldn't connect on any level with those who were the more popular kids. Being artistic or scholastically apt weren't my strong points either so I wasn't a brain. Most of the time I didn't bother with taking my classes too seriously because I didn't see the relevance of any of the classes I took. It was almost as though I knew I wouldn't need any of these classes to make a living. Try giving a shit about the Byzantine Empire when you're 14 years old and see where you'll make that information relevant in your life later on. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that back in these days, not a lot of these people really had anything to do with me and now all of a sudden, I'm interesting enough to talk to. I guess I can't fault them. Going at it the other way, I wouldn't have given any of these people the benefit of the doubt that they would 'condescend' to talk to a 'tool' like me until now. I can't really be mad at any of these people. I guess I'm as curious about them as they are about me and we both kind of want to find out how the other turned out. I've seen some of the jocks that have turned into the adult versions of what I was in high school and it makes me laugh. I'm willing to bet no one had me pegged, especially back in freshman year, for being a beefy (not my word choice, but I've heard it used to describe me) war vet with a GREAT looking family who's covered in tattoos and on the way to a great career in the government. I wonder if had they known that, would they have given me more of a chance back in high school. I suppose it doesn't matter. It's hardly worth speculating and yet I still do. Don't get me wrong, I was blissfully unaware (which is an adolescent substitute for happy) throughout most of my high school career that I wasn't particularly popular. I think most of my regret comes from not having the strength back then just to be myself, no matter how obnoxious I was at the time. Of course, that probably would have taken something like a crystal ball so I could have seen how I was going to turn out now, but who knows? Maybe even that wouldn't have been assurance enough for me.