The Year in Word Pictures...

This happens every time...
Every time I get on a roll with writing here, I find that I take an unplanned hiatus. I don't really have much to contribute these days. I went to see my friend Stacy and people have noticed a remarkable change in me. She's an expert in her trade and it's a shame that more people don't believe in what it is that she does. Don't get me wrong, it's NOT a good-guy factory. I know a few people who partake in this type of 'therapy' and are still perfect a$$h@!es. Of course, what does it matter to me? I guess you just have to avoid those types of people without living in avoidance of those types of people. Of course, depending on who you know or where you live, it could prove to be a lonely life.
So I have had a Facebook page for the last couple of months. Yes, I have denied my own religion, but for whatever reason, my wife and I had to see what the hubbub was all about. To this day, I still find myself logging in and checking stuff out when it's the last thing in the world I feel like doing. I'm convinced that "Mob Wars" (a Facebook 'application') was a tool sent from the devil to bus its users into damnation. I'm not sure what I am going to do with the page..... I have toyed with taking it down because I figure if I take it down, I'm not going to want to rebuild it and re-add all those friends. I will say it has allowed me to have closure (as much as is possible through the internet) with some people from the past. How is that going to benefit me? I know from experience that regret is heavy to carry around and if I can lighten the load by having closure with a few people, then it's worth it.
2008 has brought a lot of trying times and events as well as some simple joys for me as a person and for us as a family. This year, I have seen the death of a sweet little girl. I have been party to the betrayal of probably one of the most loyal friends I have ever had and in turn our family has been betrayed by those we least expected to do so. I have seen the advent of true friendships. I have battled professional adversities and lived through several personal scares. I have seen the one thing I never wanted to see in my life and have seen new personal lows I never thought existed. I have been betrayed by coworkers and by those who were supposed to look out for me. I almost lost The One, or at least I thought I had. Now that these things have been acknowledged for the final time, they can be laid to rest. Permanently.
2008 has also brought some positive things, perhaps in some strange packaging. This year, I realized the depths of my love for those closest to me. For the first time in my life, I felt love and now I know what it feels like to be a part of someone else and have them be a part of me. I have realized what is and isn't important and what does and doesn't define me. I realized that I am not doing what I'm supposed to be doing professionally (no matter how noble the profession is) and have taken steps to remedy that, so I guess from that standpoint, professional clarity. I said goodbye to two things I thought I'd never part with - my past and my wheelchair. I have inherited memories of Ocean City, Boston and Southern Connecticut that always make me smile. Some of the things I have learned are what peace truly is in the midst of chaos. Who and what truly matters as well as those things and people that don't matter. Everything is temporary. What it truly means not to take things personally. What really defines me versus what other people think defines me. To dream big and live bigger. Most importantly, I learned what depths I have as a being. Is there anything more important than that?
Through all of this, I still don't know how to look at 2008, but I can say this - 2009 will not be 2008 revisited. It just won't be. Why? Because I said so. Because it is so. I will realize at least one dream this year. I will be rich this year. I will appreciate everything for what it is this year. Things will change for me and my family this year. 2009 will be a year of strength, a year of true wealth and a year of transformation for my family as a unit and me as an individual. We will be veritably unrecognizable from the people we were last year. This I promise you. This I promise me.