Well, it's pretty much old news now that Michael Jackson has left us. I was in fourth grade and living in the Seattle suburbs when "Thriller" first came out. I remember I had 5 Michael Jackson pins and obviously my copy of "Thriller" on cassette that I'm surprised lasted as long as it did for having been played so much. As time went on, I relocated with my family to Connecticut after my 6th grade year and that ended the happy memories I had of my childhood as the town we relocated to was a bit of a culture shock for me. Not long after I moved there, Michael Jackson had put out "Bad" which didn't have the appeal that "Thriller" had but still made me think back to living in Washington state and all the people who were a part of my life there. I remember the boat my father had which found itself in Lake Sammamish, Lake Washington or Lake Union almost every weekend possible. I remember the architecture of the houses, the layout of the schools, the mountains, the trees and overall just pure happiness. Maybe that happiness was just ignorance of the real world. Nonetheless, if I could relive any part of my childhood, my time in Seattle would be it. Time stood still and I had plenty of friends to bide my time. What seemed like all the while, Michael was playing in the background.
Now he's gone. A major contributor to the soundtrack for the happiest time in my childhood is gone and unlike so many other performing artists that have died during my time on this earth, his death hurts. If I had to guess why it hurts like it does, I would guess that it is because memories don't last for me now and any memories I may have are valuable to me. Ever since my last time in Iraq, I have struggled to remember even some of the happier times in my life - but they've all been wiped out of my memory banks. Fortunately, every time I heard some music from that time I can remember little bits of being in one place or another. Michael Jackson always brought me back to Bellevue, Seattle, Mercer Island, YMCA summer camps, soccer, fourth grade, break dancing, SeaFair........ Just happiness.
What I can't believe is the merciless way people are treating his death. It has gone from tragedy to travesty and fodder for rumors and speculation. This has happened and it happened in no time flat. All the talk of Michael's debt, who's getting his kids and why he died has become the focal point of his death rather than the fact that 25 years after what most would call his most relevant work, he could still pack stadiums and collect premium prices for each seat. There weren't many other performing artists that would have turned down having Michael Jackson collaborate with them on a song. Bands such as Alien Ant Farm re-made songs of his and did so tastefully. Despite his very sad personal life, Michael Jackson was a legend in his own time. Any time the television, the papers or the internet has something to say about Debbie Rowe claiming that the children she's mothered aren't Michael Jackson's hurts and angers me. Why is it that he's not been buried yet and already, people are trampling on his grave? The bitterness which has spawned the lack of remorse in Mrs. Rowe has created a caricature of a true worldwide superstar as a dysfunctional freak. Even as I sit here and think about it, the thought saddens me almost to tears. I guess I'm just being protective of someone who is such an integral part of the fondest childhood memory I have and I don't want him turned into something he has never been to me. Even at 36 years old watching his videos on Youtube, I feel the child I used to be wishing I could have met him or that I was able to dance like he did. Nothing is sadder than knowing that I'll never see him dance again but through his old videos. I always excused the plastic surgeries and the skin pigmentations and I never believed that he mistreated any child that he allowed in his home. If it's alright with everyone else, I'll stick with those opinions.
I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way. To watch clips of his performances in various countries and see how people in the audience still cry and faint like they did in 1983 makes me wonder how there's anyone who is capable of, for lack of a better term, trying to villify Michael Jackson. Without trying, the man brought people together. He loved the world and he tried to make us all smile. He made grown-ups and children alike happy, even if only for a few minutes at a time. The way he met his end is tragic. I think he died of a broken heart. Honestly, the way he was treated by the media that put him on such a pedestal most of his life also hung him in effigy and cast doubt into the minds of one-time fans. I can see why that might be too much to bear for one person. When I heard that Michael Jackson died, part of me died too. I will forever listen to his songs, trying to recapture the same happiness I felt as a child while listening to his music. I'll miss you Mike. You are not alone.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
This Healthcare Business...
I've been reading a lot about what the President is trying to do with healthcare and it scares me. I don't want socialized medicine and I am certainly not a proponent of the government telling private industries what they can and can't do either, but what has gone on in the health care industry (as with many other industries) is criminal. The free market may apply to a lot of things, but it doesn't apply to health care and it hasn't since the advent of insurance companies. The problem with health care isn't quality of care. There are two contributors to what is wrong with modern day health care - overzealous doctors performing unneccesary procedures and charging unreasonable amounts for things like aspirin and insurance companies that feel they may regulate what procedures a patient will get by deciding that they will or won't pay for certain things.
The root of the problem is that medicine (the practice) is not an across-the-board industry. You can take the same ailment to ten different health care practitioners and get ten different courses of treatment. There is no one right way to deal with any one ailment, though there are certainly plenty of wrong ways. I will not sit here and argue that overzealous doctors are the problem because without doctors like that, my father would be dying of cancer as we speak. I have seen some fairly aggressive diagnistics being done on battlefield injuries to include three different types of imaging done to find one tiny piece of metal. Sometimes, that kind of proactive treatment (or run-up to treatment) is necessary and will be worth the cost to a patient, particularly if it saves their lives or spares them a lifetime of pain. I don't however agree with being charged the cost of a bottle of perfectly effective aspirin for a single aspirin in a hospital. If I have to pay $5 for an aspirin, I should be handed the whole bottle. It's as though the health care industry doesn't think that people like me know how to bargain shop. If I can do it, why can't they?
The other demon of the health care industry is the conglomerate of insurance companies involved in the health care racket. Of course all of these companies claim to have medical professionals who apparently have become involved in claims departments. Ever stop to think what kind of doctor is making decisions as to what the company they represent will and won't pay for? Probably the type that you wouldn't want working on you in the first place.... And that's your best case scenario. the worst case is that they have people with no medical experience whatsoever examining your claim and making decisions as to what will be paid for. I find this equally disturbing. Seeing as though doctors, nurse practitioners, physician's assistants and the like are the medical professsionals, I trust their judgment more so than I would a 'suit' in what's best for me when I am sick or injured. I feel that if those companies who wish to dabble in the insurance game feel they have the power to deny claims, then they should be governed by being held to the same hippocratical oath as doctors are.
Don't get me wrong, I don't really think that the free market on the whole should be regulated, but when it comes to life and those things that determine one's well-being, I think there has to be something governing that leg of industry. This includes banking. Money has a direct link to well-being. Money will buy your transportation to work, pay for the health care you need and buy you a house and therefore is directly tied to one's well-being. There are entirely too many predators out there who are willing to bilk you out of money and by some obscure regulation (or absence of regulation) are allowed to do so. There are plenty of doctors out there who take cash, credit or would be all too happy to bill you. As I may have mentioned in an earlier column I wrote, what would be wrong with putting the money one would ordinarily invest in their health care into an interest bearing account? Insurance is the same thing but the money goes into a 'kitty' more or less, all the while these people are betting on the fact that you will more often than not be healthy. Think of the kind of money you must pay per month (based entirely on your age, family history of medical issues, etc.) while not seeking treatment. Now combine that with the millions of others paying the same health care provider as you who aren't currently seeking treatment of any kind. You'd think there would be an overabundance of money to pay for your claim in its entirety because after all, that's what you pay them for. Unfortunately, there isn't because an obscene amount of that money is going to the top 20% of those running that company, to include the head of the claims department who denied the claim for your $2000 MRI.
Why not be your own HMO or PPO? Put whatever amount of money you wish into an interest bearing account while you live a healthy life and when the time comes, you'll have the money to pay for whatever procedure or prescription you want or need. I understand that this makes heath care coverage an individual responsibility, but that's precisely what it ought to be. The same could be said for auto insurance. If free market is what you want, then the consumer has to empower themselves against those that feel that they can regulate what you pay for certain items. I was charged for one-half of a tire during my last auto accident. Never mind that there was nothing wrong with the wheel or tire that was replaced. The insurance company determined that a tire needed to be replaced which had half of its life left and decided that because they felt that I had to have a new tire, that I would be responsible for half the cost. It is this mentality that insurance companies have been allowed to build up to because we have relied upon them for the past 60 years. There is a way to evade this kind of reckless and involuntary spending of the money in your pocket by a company who has been collecting premiums from you for what's likely been years - become more self-sufficient. This will choke out an industry that nobody likes anyway and deters the government from feeling as though they have to step in and regulate or overhaul the health care industry. Without insurance companies (or should I say "with the power returned directly to the consumer"), the quacks and the hacks will quickly be weeded out and prices for medicine and medical procedures will become competitive again while quality will not only not suffer, it will improve.
The root of the problem is that medicine (the practice) is not an across-the-board industry. You can take the same ailment to ten different health care practitioners and get ten different courses of treatment. There is no one right way to deal with any one ailment, though there are certainly plenty of wrong ways. I will not sit here and argue that overzealous doctors are the problem because without doctors like that, my father would be dying of cancer as we speak. I have seen some fairly aggressive diagnistics being done on battlefield injuries to include three different types of imaging done to find one tiny piece of metal. Sometimes, that kind of proactive treatment (or run-up to treatment) is necessary and will be worth the cost to a patient, particularly if it saves their lives or spares them a lifetime of pain. I don't however agree with being charged the cost of a bottle of perfectly effective aspirin for a single aspirin in a hospital. If I have to pay $5 for an aspirin, I should be handed the whole bottle. It's as though the health care industry doesn't think that people like me know how to bargain shop. If I can do it, why can't they?
The other demon of the health care industry is the conglomerate of insurance companies involved in the health care racket. Of course all of these companies claim to have medical professionals who apparently have become involved in claims departments. Ever stop to think what kind of doctor is making decisions as to what the company they represent will and won't pay for? Probably the type that you wouldn't want working on you in the first place.... And that's your best case scenario. the worst case is that they have people with no medical experience whatsoever examining your claim and making decisions as to what will be paid for. I find this equally disturbing. Seeing as though doctors, nurse practitioners, physician's assistants and the like are the medical professsionals, I trust their judgment more so than I would a 'suit' in what's best for me when I am sick or injured. I feel that if those companies who wish to dabble in the insurance game feel they have the power to deny claims, then they should be governed by being held to the same hippocratical oath as doctors are.
Don't get me wrong, I don't really think that the free market on the whole should be regulated, but when it comes to life and those things that determine one's well-being, I think there has to be something governing that leg of industry. This includes banking. Money has a direct link to well-being. Money will buy your transportation to work, pay for the health care you need and buy you a house and therefore is directly tied to one's well-being. There are entirely too many predators out there who are willing to bilk you out of money and by some obscure regulation (or absence of regulation) are allowed to do so. There are plenty of doctors out there who take cash, credit or would be all too happy to bill you. As I may have mentioned in an earlier column I wrote, what would be wrong with putting the money one would ordinarily invest in their health care into an interest bearing account? Insurance is the same thing but the money goes into a 'kitty' more or less, all the while these people are betting on the fact that you will more often than not be healthy. Think of the kind of money you must pay per month (based entirely on your age, family history of medical issues, etc.) while not seeking treatment. Now combine that with the millions of others paying the same health care provider as you who aren't currently seeking treatment of any kind. You'd think there would be an overabundance of money to pay for your claim in its entirety because after all, that's what you pay them for. Unfortunately, there isn't because an obscene amount of that money is going to the top 20% of those running that company, to include the head of the claims department who denied the claim for your $2000 MRI.
Why not be your own HMO or PPO? Put whatever amount of money you wish into an interest bearing account while you live a healthy life and when the time comes, you'll have the money to pay for whatever procedure or prescription you want or need. I understand that this makes heath care coverage an individual responsibility, but that's precisely what it ought to be. The same could be said for auto insurance. If free market is what you want, then the consumer has to empower themselves against those that feel that they can regulate what you pay for certain items. I was charged for one-half of a tire during my last auto accident. Never mind that there was nothing wrong with the wheel or tire that was replaced. The insurance company determined that a tire needed to be replaced which had half of its life left and decided that because they felt that I had to have a new tire, that I would be responsible for half the cost. It is this mentality that insurance companies have been allowed to build up to because we have relied upon them for the past 60 years. There is a way to evade this kind of reckless and involuntary spending of the money in your pocket by a company who has been collecting premiums from you for what's likely been years - become more self-sufficient. This will choke out an industry that nobody likes anyway and deters the government from feeling as though they have to step in and regulate or overhaul the health care industry. Without insurance companies (or should I say "with the power returned directly to the consumer"), the quacks and the hacks will quickly be weeded out and prices for medicine and medical procedures will become competitive again while quality will not only not suffer, it will improve.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Tying The Hands of Time...
I managed to get up to Connecticut this past weekend to play golf for a children's hospital at the behest of a friend of mine local to that area. "A good time" I thought. "It'll be nice to see how the area has changed." After a relatively daunting trip with a few muckity-muck traffic areas, particularly that of the Meritt Parkway, I made it to my destination. I saw friends along the way and made some new ones as well. What was amazing to me was how little things had changed in Connecticut. It was as though I had gone through a time warp back to 2000, which might as well have been 1993. Everything looked exactly the same. It was odd, however to travel on a bit of highway that I traveled back when it was first built and see it in a decrepit state. Quite frankly, that was one of the only markers of any passage of time that I had seen. After spending time in Tolland, I managed to get up to the Simsbury/Granby area and see a couple of people. What I found particularly interesting and a bit sad was how quiet things had become in my old stomping grounds. Not the good quiet - it was as though the place had been abandoned. Businesses had been refaced and others had changed hands. A Getty gas station had shut down completely and its sign was literally devoid of any color from having been beaten by the sun. Strange, I thought, for Simsbury to let any property become an eyesore. The place felt dirtier than I ever remember it feeling. It wasn't quite overwhelming but definitely distracting. It was as though the town of Simsbury had become a shell of its former self. Not that it was ever a bustling metropolis but at least it was a bit more lively. The entire weekend was gray, but it was still a great time. My golf game was garbage which I had half expected it to be, but it was made up for by comparitively good playing on the part of the rest of my threesome. I got a few good pictures and we had a lot of great laughs. I was excited to wake up after the first night there to find out that my next visit there had been already set in stone. This is good because I feel drawn to see more of this change/lack of change...
As I've said already, it was good to be back but there was a deifinite sadness and melancholy to my having been there. I did say at some point that I thought it might be a bittersweet experience returning to Connecticut and it was. Sweet to see my friends and have such a good time but bitter to see what parts of my formulative youth have become.
As I've said already, it was good to be back but there was a deifinite sadness and melancholy to my having been there. I did say at some point that I thought it might be a bittersweet experience returning to Connecticut and it was. Sweet to see my friends and have such a good time but bitter to see what parts of my formulative youth have become.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Jack's Forum Revisited
Well, I've laid off of posting here for a long time. I don't have any one set reason why, but I had. I think I was getting burned out and I didn't want to post meaningless drivel so I just kind of faded away..... It's apparently paid off because I feel like I have tons to talk about. I'd love to catch up on everything that has happened lately.
Well, I am still with my fitness routine... I have taken sabbaticals here and therewith that too, but for the most part I'm still as dedicated as I was when I was here last. I feel like I'm starting to look better, but I'm not getting to where I want to be. I have switched my routine from three sets of 10 reps on everything to burnouts - starting with the heaviest I can do until failure and dropping in steady incriments of weight until I'm basically doing whatever exercise with no weights whatsoever. It's an effort to shock my muscles into further growth and trim some of the lingering fat from key areas. So far, it seems to be working. However, I'm willing to bet that it won't be long before I have to change it up yet again. I still haven't moved significantly in weight since I was here last, which doesn't shock me. So basically, no major changes there.
I have been keeping somewhat vigilant on the political scene. Obama has been elected and so far, nothing's changed. I know it's only barely been 6 months, but I'm not hearing about what's really going to be done about the problems plaguing this country. I'll breifly explain what I mean:
The economy - Banks have been given billions of dollars to stay afloat because evidently, we can't afford as a country to let these banks and companies such as AIG fail. These banks and other companies have since found out how incredibly easy it is to bilk money out of the Federal government and now a new monster has been created within the old monster. Fiscal irresponsibility has been rewarded and now has morphed into fiscal government dependance. Most of the entirely-too-wealthy CEOs and COOs of these companies are Conservatives who think Obama is out to socialize things like medicine...... But it's OK for them to take tax money that we haven't had in 6 years and have their company bailed out because without it, thered be no way to fulfill the promised retention bonuses needed in order to keep the hacks that have caused this mess on staff. That's not socialism at all. These banks and businesses are still rolling over private citizens with predatory lending and other immoral practices and having to answer to no one. It just figures. I'll be sure and pay the massive tax bill I'll get next tax season because the gap between what I owed on the house that was foreclosed on and what that same bank sold that house for will be revisiting me as "taxable income".... We'll see about that. At this rate, I'm sure my credit can't get any worse so what do I care?
Gay Marriage..... Well if your a homophobe or otherwise too conservative to realize that gays are people too, you might want to click the red box in the upper right hand corner of your screen. You know, the one with the 'X' in it. You won't like what I have to say. Why can't these people have what they're after? Who is it hurting? Is it taking money out of your paycheck or keeping you from getting as large a tax return? Guess what - gays are out there and they want to get married. They don't want to marry YOU. They just want to get married. Explain to me how it lessens or cheapens anybody else's heterosexual marriage and I'll jump on the same bandwagon as you, but I'm not worried about having to do that. Know why? Because you CAN'T. It DOESN'T affect your marriage, your pocketbook or your lifestyle, not one iota. They're people who have their own churches and their own businesses and their own lives, most of which is carried out behind closed doors. What do all three of those examples have in common? Gays and lesbians have each of those for themselves because you won't let them into yours. Why does anyone care enough to stop gays and lesbians from getting married? Those of you that feel the need to stop gay marriage are a travesty to the human race and might as well go back to hating blacks because they're black and want to vote and work where you work for equal pay.
Healthcare reform - Don't mess with my coverage, I like it fine the way it is. Ever notice that not all, but some of the people who went to medical school for all that time probably planned on making a ton more money than you do? I don't think health care should be a run-away industry in the way of profit and without insurance companies, it wouldn't be. I know of another way to ensure health care coverage - opt not to pay for your employer-based health coverage and just put the money you would ordinarily have contributed into an interest bearing account. I think that health insurance companies and the medical insurance branches of any other insurance companies need to be completely dismantled. People in the health insurance industry don't know medicine. They know accounting but they're making decisions on what you need and don't need medically. I hope you're comfortable with that. You want to talk about flexible spending accounts typically tied to health insurance? you could borrow against the money you've saved for whatever reason you wanted without having to explain yourself to anyone and what you borrow will be at your own peril if the money's not there when you need it. I'm telling you - take the business away from the insurance companies by essentially being your own and see how reasonable they get with you when they need you back...
The economy - So bad, I have to say something twice. If salaries don't rise, neither should inflation. I fail to see why the prices are rising on things such as gas when our salaries are completely stagnant. Now, I know that gas is derived from petroleum found in the ground and there's scientists that have stated that the earth is running out of resources to produce heating oil and gasoline. I call bullshit on that. Why? Because fossils and other organic life that decompose to form petroleum are still decpomposing at the same rate it was 200 years ago so it's not a cyclical production, it's constant. Why then should I have to pay any more than a dollar a gallon for gas? Same thing with houses. Last I checked, they're still made of wood. The ground they're built on is still made of dirt. The meat I eat is still made of beef and chicken and the vegetables I eat are still grown out of the same plants they've always come from. If I'm still making the same annual income in 2009 that I was in 2004, then I don't expect there to be any inflation. After all, why do houses, gas and food get raises when I'm the one with a job and if I do get a raise, why is mine only 3% when gas, food and housing get a 12-15% raise?
I'm not afraid to admit that I voted for Obama, but I'm a little disappointed in the results so far. I'm very much a proponent of the government having no control in my life, especially when they're unwilling to help me when I need them the most. I'm sensing no urgency with the economy and I'm sensing no relief for the victims of this economic downturn that has now spanned nearly 24 months. Too much attention paid to the wrong things and not enough to the right ones. What ever happened to a government of the people by the people and for the people? With all the talk in recent years of how trampled the Constitution has become, I see nothing being done to defend it from our elected officials. The left is every bit as dangerous as the right in this country. We are trying to live under a government which was never designed to operate on a two-party system which has become more polarized than it was ever meant to be. The polarization of the two-party system has leaked from Capitol Hill and bled into the American infrastructure and polarized its people. Hopefully one day, enough people that care enough to try to lead this country will realize that we were only meant to be so advanced and so upwardly mobile. I fail to see how it is that this country is going in the 'right direction' at this point.
I hope that this country wakes up and realizes that 'going across the middle' is the way to go. We don't need to be run by limousine liberals who think that big government is the answer nor republicans whose social agenda is so selective, it's nauseating. My suggestion?
1. Take religion out of politics and confine it to church and the home.
2. Take social agendas out of genuine political agendas.
3. Eliminate lobbyists or whomever the lobbyists represent such as insurance companies.
4. Stop looking at candidates for office as though they're applying for sainthood and look at what they're actually willing to do for you. You know, that whole "criminals make the best cops" thing...
5. Send the people in office who orchestrate wars to war. I'm sure their outlook would be quite different.
6. When the citizenry has to scale back their standards of living to pay for deficits such as the one we have, so must our elected officials. Lead by example or don't lead at all. After all, you're just one of us, aren't you?
So there you have it. I'm sure if I were to think any harder, I'd be able to come up with more. Like Obama said, we DO need change but now that we've figured that out we need to impliment that change. I understand the theory that no one cog can change the machine but perhaps if Obama took just one page out of the Bush/Cheney playbook, it's be the page where you push your agenda through with ruthless abandon. As I write this, I think the Obama agenda needs to be more closely examined and modified. We need more centrist ideas and in the wake of this economy, we need to be set back on our feet and left alone from there. I'm just wondering if there's anyone or any one group of people who can set this country right again. I hope so because if not, then we're going to be in a much bigger mess than what we're in now.
Well, I am still with my fitness routine... I have taken sabbaticals here and therewith that too, but for the most part I'm still as dedicated as I was when I was here last. I feel like I'm starting to look better, but I'm not getting to where I want to be. I have switched my routine from three sets of 10 reps on everything to burnouts - starting with the heaviest I can do until failure and dropping in steady incriments of weight until I'm basically doing whatever exercise with no weights whatsoever. It's an effort to shock my muscles into further growth and trim some of the lingering fat from key areas. So far, it seems to be working. However, I'm willing to bet that it won't be long before I have to change it up yet again. I still haven't moved significantly in weight since I was here last, which doesn't shock me. So basically, no major changes there.
I have been keeping somewhat vigilant on the political scene. Obama has been elected and so far, nothing's changed. I know it's only barely been 6 months, but I'm not hearing about what's really going to be done about the problems plaguing this country. I'll breifly explain what I mean:
The economy - Banks have been given billions of dollars to stay afloat because evidently, we can't afford as a country to let these banks and companies such as AIG fail. These banks and other companies have since found out how incredibly easy it is to bilk money out of the Federal government and now a new monster has been created within the old monster. Fiscal irresponsibility has been rewarded and now has morphed into fiscal government dependance. Most of the entirely-too-wealthy CEOs and COOs of these companies are Conservatives who think Obama is out to socialize things like medicine...... But it's OK for them to take tax money that we haven't had in 6 years and have their company bailed out because without it, thered be no way to fulfill the promised retention bonuses needed in order to keep the hacks that have caused this mess on staff. That's not socialism at all. These banks and businesses are still rolling over private citizens with predatory lending and other immoral practices and having to answer to no one. It just figures. I'll be sure and pay the massive tax bill I'll get next tax season because the gap between what I owed on the house that was foreclosed on and what that same bank sold that house for will be revisiting me as "taxable income".... We'll see about that. At this rate, I'm sure my credit can't get any worse so what do I care?
Gay Marriage..... Well if your a homophobe or otherwise too conservative to realize that gays are people too, you might want to click the red box in the upper right hand corner of your screen. You know, the one with the 'X' in it. You won't like what I have to say. Why can't these people have what they're after? Who is it hurting? Is it taking money out of your paycheck or keeping you from getting as large a tax return? Guess what - gays are out there and they want to get married. They don't want to marry YOU. They just want to get married. Explain to me how it lessens or cheapens anybody else's heterosexual marriage and I'll jump on the same bandwagon as you, but I'm not worried about having to do that. Know why? Because you CAN'T. It DOESN'T affect your marriage, your pocketbook or your lifestyle, not one iota. They're people who have their own churches and their own businesses and their own lives, most of which is carried out behind closed doors. What do all three of those examples have in common? Gays and lesbians have each of those for themselves because you won't let them into yours. Why does anyone care enough to stop gays and lesbians from getting married? Those of you that feel the need to stop gay marriage are a travesty to the human race and might as well go back to hating blacks because they're black and want to vote and work where you work for equal pay.
Healthcare reform - Don't mess with my coverage, I like it fine the way it is. Ever notice that not all, but some of the people who went to medical school for all that time probably planned on making a ton more money than you do? I don't think health care should be a run-away industry in the way of profit and without insurance companies, it wouldn't be. I know of another way to ensure health care coverage - opt not to pay for your employer-based health coverage and just put the money you would ordinarily have contributed into an interest bearing account. I think that health insurance companies and the medical insurance branches of any other insurance companies need to be completely dismantled. People in the health insurance industry don't know medicine. They know accounting but they're making decisions on what you need and don't need medically. I hope you're comfortable with that. You want to talk about flexible spending accounts typically tied to health insurance? you could borrow against the money you've saved for whatever reason you wanted without having to explain yourself to anyone and what you borrow will be at your own peril if the money's not there when you need it. I'm telling you - take the business away from the insurance companies by essentially being your own and see how reasonable they get with you when they need you back...
The economy - So bad, I have to say something twice. If salaries don't rise, neither should inflation. I fail to see why the prices are rising on things such as gas when our salaries are completely stagnant. Now, I know that gas is derived from petroleum found in the ground and there's scientists that have stated that the earth is running out of resources to produce heating oil and gasoline. I call bullshit on that. Why? Because fossils and other organic life that decompose to form petroleum are still decpomposing at the same rate it was 200 years ago so it's not a cyclical production, it's constant. Why then should I have to pay any more than a dollar a gallon for gas? Same thing with houses. Last I checked, they're still made of wood. The ground they're built on is still made of dirt. The meat I eat is still made of beef and chicken and the vegetables I eat are still grown out of the same plants they've always come from. If I'm still making the same annual income in 2009 that I was in 2004, then I don't expect there to be any inflation. After all, why do houses, gas and food get raises when I'm the one with a job and if I do get a raise, why is mine only 3% when gas, food and housing get a 12-15% raise?
I'm not afraid to admit that I voted for Obama, but I'm a little disappointed in the results so far. I'm very much a proponent of the government having no control in my life, especially when they're unwilling to help me when I need them the most. I'm sensing no urgency with the economy and I'm sensing no relief for the victims of this economic downturn that has now spanned nearly 24 months. Too much attention paid to the wrong things and not enough to the right ones. What ever happened to a government of the people by the people and for the people? With all the talk in recent years of how trampled the Constitution has become, I see nothing being done to defend it from our elected officials. The left is every bit as dangerous as the right in this country. We are trying to live under a government which was never designed to operate on a two-party system which has become more polarized than it was ever meant to be. The polarization of the two-party system has leaked from Capitol Hill and bled into the American infrastructure and polarized its people. Hopefully one day, enough people that care enough to try to lead this country will realize that we were only meant to be so advanced and so upwardly mobile. I fail to see how it is that this country is going in the 'right direction' at this point.
I hope that this country wakes up and realizes that 'going across the middle' is the way to go. We don't need to be run by limousine liberals who think that big government is the answer nor republicans whose social agenda is so selective, it's nauseating. My suggestion?
1. Take religion out of politics and confine it to church and the home.
2. Take social agendas out of genuine political agendas.
3. Eliminate lobbyists or whomever the lobbyists represent such as insurance companies.
4. Stop looking at candidates for office as though they're applying for sainthood and look at what they're actually willing to do for you. You know, that whole "criminals make the best cops" thing...
5. Send the people in office who orchestrate wars to war. I'm sure their outlook would be quite different.
6. When the citizenry has to scale back their standards of living to pay for deficits such as the one we have, so must our elected officials. Lead by example or don't lead at all. After all, you're just one of us, aren't you?
So there you have it. I'm sure if I were to think any harder, I'd be able to come up with more. Like Obama said, we DO need change but now that we've figured that out we need to impliment that change. I understand the theory that no one cog can change the machine but perhaps if Obama took just one page out of the Bush/Cheney playbook, it's be the page where you push your agenda through with ruthless abandon. As I write this, I think the Obama agenda needs to be more closely examined and modified. We need more centrist ideas and in the wake of this economy, we need to be set back on our feet and left alone from there. I'm just wondering if there's anyone or any one group of people who can set this country right again. I hope so because if not, then we're going to be in a much bigger mess than what we're in now.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Project #1, or Just Another Bad Idea?
In light of everything going on, you'd think that rifle shopping would be the last thing on my to-do list. I've never been huge on going with the grain, so I'm rifle shopping as a distraction from all that is going on. Shopping requires money and I don't have that, so we'll just call it 'trolling'. I was trolling the pawn shops this past weekend with the hour and a half I found myself with and came across something so ironic, I just had to laugh out loud when I saw it. My first major project could be sitting in a pawn shop in Manassas (unless of course, someone goes and buys what I saw.) On the rifle rack in the back of the store, I saw a rifle sitting there with the tag positioned where I could not read what it said - All I could see was that the rifle was a bolt action and had both a synthetic plastic stock and a scope. I asked the shop employee to let me handle the rifle and after showing a valid ID, he complied. I flipped the rifle so that I could look at the side and there on the stock was a fancy 'W'. It was a Winchester Model 70 .30-06 rifle with a Bushnell 3-9x50 scope. The rifle was EXACTLY what I had when I lived in Texas but with a different scope on it and all this pawn shop wanted for it was $20 more than what I bought my first one for. "Excellent" I thought, "I could very well have a sub-$700 tactical project". I have found a great Chaote stock that I would likely use for this rifle should it be the one I pick up for my hunting rifle. The stock retails for around $150 and should be a drop-in I can do at home. The action will likely be a little more work than that. Because I don't do my own gunsmithing, I would likely have someone local install a heavy bull barrel that I would likely pick up from E.R. Shaw Barrels on recommendation from Melvin Ewing at Sniper Central. Assuming that it can be made, the barrel will be 24" long, 1.25" in diameter and weigh in excess of 4 lbs with a twist rate of 1 in 10". Naturally, the barrel will be free-floating once installed on the action. I have not decided on optics but will likely go with a mil-dot scope somewhere in the $200 neighborhood. I will finish it off with a coat or two of Aluma-Hyde 2 paint and wait forever to take it to the range to fire.
I suppose if I end up with this rifle, I will likely end up looking for a decent range to test fire and dial it in. I know where's nothing like that anywhere around here in my area, so I might have to trek further out than I'd like to. In case you haven't heard, the Capitol Beltway isn't big on rifles. This is of course under the assumption that I choose this rifle as my pet project. I'd prefer to get my hands on a rifle chambered in .308 and preferably a Remington, but beggars can't be choosers. I'm supposed to be attending the Nation's Gun Show at the Dulles Expo Center this upcoming weekend where I will be doing more trolling. The plus ius that I will likely find a bargain in the almost 2 acre indoor space that will allow me to escape paying the 'beltway premium' for a rifle or any given parts. The drawback is that if I do happen to find that bargain, my ability to act on it will not be there. Well when one show ends, another comes around in three months, so I suppose I shouldn't worry. Stay tuned and see how things turn out.
I suppose if I end up with this rifle, I will likely end up looking for a decent range to test fire and dial it in. I know where's nothing like that anywhere around here in my area, so I might have to trek further out than I'd like to. In case you haven't heard, the Capitol Beltway isn't big on rifles. This is of course under the assumption that I choose this rifle as my pet project. I'd prefer to get my hands on a rifle chambered in .308 and preferably a Remington, but beggars can't be choosers. I'm supposed to be attending the Nation's Gun Show at the Dulles Expo Center this upcoming weekend where I will be doing more trolling. The plus ius that I will likely find a bargain in the almost 2 acre indoor space that will allow me to escape paying the 'beltway premium' for a rifle or any given parts. The drawback is that if I do happen to find that bargain, my ability to act on it will not be there. Well when one show ends, another comes around in three months, so I suppose I shouldn't worry. Stay tuned and see how things turn out.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A Letter to the "2008 - 6"
To All Of You-
I know that to ask some, my time for anger has come and passed but I felt I still had something to day to each and every one of you before I finally let this go. I may never have taken the opportunity to say any of this to you because I was probably advised to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes expressing your true feelings is the smarter, more mature thing to do so that you may spare those you care about the pain of having to deal with your dregs. It is in the interest of my own well-being that I will put my thoughts and feelings in print:
GG - You're Satan. Plain and simple. For a woman who's married to a guy with a notoriously big dick, you ma'am need to get laid. I've never met anyone so uptight and quirky in my life. Just what is it you're hiding from others about yourself, GG? You hide behind your straw hats, your convertable Beetle and martini after martini the insecure person that you really are. Sadly enough you won't leave your shiftless layabout of a husband because on some level, you need him. It doesn't surprise me that you drink the way you do. If I were you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself either. You patronize, you meddle and you backbite all who enter your life thinking the entire time that you're somehow superior to them. Professionally, you extort and watch those who are in your charge suffer while you continue to eke out whatever fringe benefits you can for yourself from the dying company you work for. You're lucky no one has dropped an anonymous note to your bosses about the laptop computer that you purchased with company money sitting so comfortably in your sunroom. Well hopefully it comes in handy when you find yourself looking for a job, unable to retire because your 401K went completely south and we'll see just what the market worth is of a woman in her 50's with no education. I'd say there's a special place in hell for you but I'm sure you already know about it - it was designed just for you. I'd call you a cunt but that word doesn't even begin to depict what you really are right to your core and besides, I don't want to call you anything that might actually serve to placate your ego.
SG - (No, not me, assholes!) How it is that you have come this far in your life to emasculate yourself is saddening to me. Where once I saw you as a good friend, I now see you as a eunich, nothing more. The fact that your wife makes enough to support the two of you isn't even the issue - it's that you allow her to use those circumstances to dictate your loyalties to people for fear that Thundercunt might leave you and force you to get a job. Uh-oh, what would really happen if sugar momma threw you out of the coop? News flash - she never would so long as your usefulness around the house outweighs the inconveniences you bring to her table - a very narrow ratio. She's so insecure that she'll keep you around just to have someone more that she can order around. You have allowed this insecure woman to perform a labia transplant surgery on you and you've never even realized it. Unfortunately, your entire goal has been to live a life emulating that of a 15-year-old kid on spring break. Wasting a thousand of dollars a month on pot and waking up at 1:00 every day to do whatever you want to do, which primarily involves surfing the net for the next batch of disturbing imagry to throw in your poker emails. Speaking of poker, nice little club you have there. You've certainly made it known that there's a club mentality present. A guild of only the finest mooches and ass-kissers are invited to the table (whose numbers are slowly starting to dwindle) because that's what you need around you at all times - a crowd that you need to want you and you want to need you so that you may complain about how they 'use you for pot'. Ever think of what would happen if you told a few people 'no'? If it weren't for the fact that you're the sole source of pot and booze for your friends, you wouldn't have any. I thought you were an intelligent guy but after hearing that you didn't feel that you should have to work after retiring from the Navy, I haver since figured out otherwise. I'd sound as intelligent as you if all I had to do was surf the internet and watch TV all day every day, I'd sound intelligent too. You're a waste of space who can build a nifty cat litter box but is every bit as insecure as his bitch wife is. BTW - I COMPLETELY understand why you smoke so much pot. I would too with GG for a wife.
BB - There's much I could say. You felt that you had the clout to impose your will within the confines of my home and had the nerve to react when your will was infracted. Our house is OUR HOUSE, motherfucker. Realize the boundaries. You completely disrespect your wife and kids as though they were pains in your ass. If that's the way you feel then go and do what they're silently begging you to do - leave them. (Actually, they're begging you to kill yourself, but leaving would at least make sure you get to live out the rest of your miserable existence.) The fact that you felt comfortable enough during the tenure of our 'friendship' to extend your chauvanistic mannerisms towards my wife has earned you at minimum a belt in the mouth. Believe me, if I ever see you again, that's exactly what you'll get. Your apparent wit and charm when talking to other people is a veil so thin that anyone with any intelligence sees right through it. I'm sure you know what the people on your own street REALLY think about you, and I'm sure that you're telling yourself that you don't care - but I know the truth. Image is very important to you, that's why you spend thousands of dollars of your mortgage on suits every month and inane things such as iPods. Letting your house fall almost into foreclosure while you buy 26 inch flat panel TVs to mount on your wall. Nice show of maturity and responsibility. You're irresponsible and no matter how many degrees you can hang up on your wall, you're a moron. Your own family hates you and yes, you're fat - blame it on your 'injuries' all you want. You're a coward who is so afraid of being told what to do that much like GG, you need to surround yourself with minions who will do your every bidding, worship your every move and allow you to lord power over them. So far in life, you've been lucky. You forget I know your history and all I have to say is this - You can take the boy out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the boy. Enjoy raising a daughter who will likely get knocked up at 13 (if not younger) because she'll think that since her father can treat women like shit, that's all she'll think she deserves. Good luck with your son who will never know what it means to be a real man because his father is certainly no example.
JB - Though you'd probably take it the wrong way, I don't have too much to say about you. You're a dork - not a crime, there are plenty of them out there. I think your biggest crime is putting up with your husband BB's shit for so long. Apparently you had the right idea in 2004 but like a fool, you went right back into the fray. You succeeded in eliciting the pity you needed from us and managed to get that taken away from you too by not managing your mouth. Your condescending flip-flop on the issue that served as the catalyst for the break-up of the 'friendship' between our families nauseated me. Perhaps you may not see it this way, but it was hypocracy at it's finest. Had it not been for a few key lapses in your judgment, you might still have two friends in us. You seem to have made your peace with your decisions. I'm sorry you allowed yourself to be used as a pawn in BB's game concerning the guns you gifted to me. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have a legal leg to stand on and it didn't have the true desired effect he was looking for. It will forever befuddle me as to how you'd let a fat insecure man who shows you no respect keep you down emotionally to the point of not caring what you look like. All that aside, I'm sure you're genuinely a nice woman with all the best of intentions with plenty to offer a more deserving man than BB. Perhaps one day, you'll wake up and figure that out all on your own. It's just a shame that you had to burn bridges along the way.
SH - You're one of the most colossal disappointments I've ever come to know. You've essentially thrown away your entire life all because your parents divorced. You became the consummate pothead and allowed that to kill your grades in high school, even further cementing in place the certainty that you will never amount to anything. You think life's all about listening to 311, getting high and ranting about how great of a drummer your boyfriend is. You were a lousy waitress and unfortunately, it took what it took to find that you are a lousy friend. The upside of no longer having you in our lives (only one of many) is that we can actually make plans and not be two hours late for them on the count of having to wait for you. Through all this, you think you're entitled to everything and somewhere along the way, you picked up the delusion that you're tough. I hate to tell you, but you don't know what tough is. For as many times as I've seen you cry at the first sign of adversity, you're as far from tough as anyone could be. The truth of it is that you don't know how much tougher life is than you are. You don't know what its like to actually take a beating from life. You always have someone there to bail you out and rally around you when the chips are down in your life. Lucky for you, the crowd you have now is there for you - but given time, none of them will be there. You're going to wake up and you're going to be 40 - still listening to 311, still smoking stupid amounts of pot and still trying to get your boyfriend off his ass to do something with his life. Let me fast-forward you to the end - it's never going to happen. In the meantime, do me (and the rest of the world) a favor - don't ever have any kids. The last thing this world needs is more whiny insecure self-proclaimed tough-girl princesses with a sense of entitlement running around. It's clear from the way you abandoned my kids that you wouldn't do right by your own. We won't even get into the fact that if you could admit to wronging anyone that you'd never apologize for it, but you sure did turn your back on M pretty quickly. May that be the treatment you receive from others who come into your life until you finally get what I tried to tell you all along: Don't expect from others that which you won't freely give of yourself. You'd know that already, but you're just a kid.
KH - What can I say? Guilt by association. You also turned your back on M, a person who tried to help you figure out what you wanted to do with your life. The same person who spent money we didn't have on your 21st birthday to provide you with first-class accommodations. The same person who stopped us in the middle of what we were doing, put both of our lives on hold and went running to your house to rally around you because you and SH had a 'really bad fight'. We've been there for you, our kids loved you unconditionally and you left all of us high and dry at the first opportunity. If I remember correctly, you were tired of people abusing your friendship and yet you turned your back on one of two people who tried to show you what true friendship was. I guess you know better. A waste of talent who makes an unending chain of bad decisions and has no drive whatsoever to do anything with his life. You can't take example from anyone. Your own friends abuse you to no end and talk shit about your precious girlfriend (not that she doesn't ask for it, to be honest) yet you do nothing. You wait to take your first stand until the person who encouraged you to do so makes a mistake and you blast her. Way to go, chew out someone who got drugged that loved you and did nothing but care for you and tried to give your life some direction because lord knows you aren't finding it on your own. You're an ungrateful prick who's going nowhere in life and you deserve every bit of prejudice people hold against you when they hear about your 'past'. As I've said to SH, may that be the treatment you receive until it finally penetrates your skull that however you treat others, you should expect like treatment. Between yourself and SH, you've shown us that no good deed goes unpunished. You too, sir, are just another punk kid who doesn't know shit about shit.
Now that I have gotten that off of my chest, I can look at these people in the collective and say 'Fuck you.'
I know that to ask some, my time for anger has come and passed but I felt I still had something to day to each and every one of you before I finally let this go. I may never have taken the opportunity to say any of this to you because I was probably advised to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes expressing your true feelings is the smarter, more mature thing to do so that you may spare those you care about the pain of having to deal with your dregs. It is in the interest of my own well-being that I will put my thoughts and feelings in print:
GG - You're Satan. Plain and simple. For a woman who's married to a guy with a notoriously big dick, you ma'am need to get laid. I've never met anyone so uptight and quirky in my life. Just what is it you're hiding from others about yourself, GG? You hide behind your straw hats, your convertable Beetle and martini after martini the insecure person that you really are. Sadly enough you won't leave your shiftless layabout of a husband because on some level, you need him. It doesn't surprise me that you drink the way you do. If I were you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself either. You patronize, you meddle and you backbite all who enter your life thinking the entire time that you're somehow superior to them. Professionally, you extort and watch those who are in your charge suffer while you continue to eke out whatever fringe benefits you can for yourself from the dying company you work for. You're lucky no one has dropped an anonymous note to your bosses about the laptop computer that you purchased with company money sitting so comfortably in your sunroom. Well hopefully it comes in handy when you find yourself looking for a job, unable to retire because your 401K went completely south and we'll see just what the market worth is of a woman in her 50's with no education. I'd say there's a special place in hell for you but I'm sure you already know about it - it was designed just for you. I'd call you a cunt but that word doesn't even begin to depict what you really are right to your core and besides, I don't want to call you anything that might actually serve to placate your ego.
SG - (No, not me, assholes!) How it is that you have come this far in your life to emasculate yourself is saddening to me. Where once I saw you as a good friend, I now see you as a eunich, nothing more. The fact that your wife makes enough to support the two of you isn't even the issue - it's that you allow her to use those circumstances to dictate your loyalties to people for fear that Thundercunt might leave you and force you to get a job. Uh-oh, what would really happen if sugar momma threw you out of the coop? News flash - she never would so long as your usefulness around the house outweighs the inconveniences you bring to her table - a very narrow ratio. She's so insecure that she'll keep you around just to have someone more that she can order around. You have allowed this insecure woman to perform a labia transplant surgery on you and you've never even realized it. Unfortunately, your entire goal has been to live a life emulating that of a 15-year-old kid on spring break. Wasting a thousand of dollars a month on pot and waking up at 1:00 every day to do whatever you want to do, which primarily involves surfing the net for the next batch of disturbing imagry to throw in your poker emails. Speaking of poker, nice little club you have there. You've certainly made it known that there's a club mentality present. A guild of only the finest mooches and ass-kissers are invited to the table (whose numbers are slowly starting to dwindle) because that's what you need around you at all times - a crowd that you need to want you and you want to need you so that you may complain about how they 'use you for pot'. Ever think of what would happen if you told a few people 'no'? If it weren't for the fact that you're the sole source of pot and booze for your friends, you wouldn't have any. I thought you were an intelligent guy but after hearing that you didn't feel that you should have to work after retiring from the Navy, I haver since figured out otherwise. I'd sound as intelligent as you if all I had to do was surf the internet and watch TV all day every day, I'd sound intelligent too. You're a waste of space who can build a nifty cat litter box but is every bit as insecure as his bitch wife is. BTW - I COMPLETELY understand why you smoke so much pot. I would too with GG for a wife.
BB - There's much I could say. You felt that you had the clout to impose your will within the confines of my home and had the nerve to react when your will was infracted. Our house is OUR HOUSE, motherfucker. Realize the boundaries. You completely disrespect your wife and kids as though they were pains in your ass. If that's the way you feel then go and do what they're silently begging you to do - leave them. (Actually, they're begging you to kill yourself, but leaving would at least make sure you get to live out the rest of your miserable existence.) The fact that you felt comfortable enough during the tenure of our 'friendship' to extend your chauvanistic mannerisms towards my wife has earned you at minimum a belt in the mouth. Believe me, if I ever see you again, that's exactly what you'll get. Your apparent wit and charm when talking to other people is a veil so thin that anyone with any intelligence sees right through it. I'm sure you know what the people on your own street REALLY think about you, and I'm sure that you're telling yourself that you don't care - but I know the truth. Image is very important to you, that's why you spend thousands of dollars of your mortgage on suits every month and inane things such as iPods. Letting your house fall almost into foreclosure while you buy 26 inch flat panel TVs to mount on your wall. Nice show of maturity and responsibility. You're irresponsible and no matter how many degrees you can hang up on your wall, you're a moron. Your own family hates you and yes, you're fat - blame it on your 'injuries' all you want. You're a coward who is so afraid of being told what to do that much like GG, you need to surround yourself with minions who will do your every bidding, worship your every move and allow you to lord power over them. So far in life, you've been lucky. You forget I know your history and all I have to say is this - You can take the boy out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the boy. Enjoy raising a daughter who will likely get knocked up at 13 (if not younger) because she'll think that since her father can treat women like shit, that's all she'll think she deserves. Good luck with your son who will never know what it means to be a real man because his father is certainly no example.
JB - Though you'd probably take it the wrong way, I don't have too much to say about you. You're a dork - not a crime, there are plenty of them out there. I think your biggest crime is putting up with your husband BB's shit for so long. Apparently you had the right idea in 2004 but like a fool, you went right back into the fray. You succeeded in eliciting the pity you needed from us and managed to get that taken away from you too by not managing your mouth. Your condescending flip-flop on the issue that served as the catalyst for the break-up of the 'friendship' between our families nauseated me. Perhaps you may not see it this way, but it was hypocracy at it's finest. Had it not been for a few key lapses in your judgment, you might still have two friends in us. You seem to have made your peace with your decisions. I'm sorry you allowed yourself to be used as a pawn in BB's game concerning the guns you gifted to me. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have a legal leg to stand on and it didn't have the true desired effect he was looking for. It will forever befuddle me as to how you'd let a fat insecure man who shows you no respect keep you down emotionally to the point of not caring what you look like. All that aside, I'm sure you're genuinely a nice woman with all the best of intentions with plenty to offer a more deserving man than BB. Perhaps one day, you'll wake up and figure that out all on your own. It's just a shame that you had to burn bridges along the way.
SH - You're one of the most colossal disappointments I've ever come to know. You've essentially thrown away your entire life all because your parents divorced. You became the consummate pothead and allowed that to kill your grades in high school, even further cementing in place the certainty that you will never amount to anything. You think life's all about listening to 311, getting high and ranting about how great of a drummer your boyfriend is. You were a lousy waitress and unfortunately, it took what it took to find that you are a lousy friend. The upside of no longer having you in our lives (only one of many) is that we can actually make plans and not be two hours late for them on the count of having to wait for you. Through all this, you think you're entitled to everything and somewhere along the way, you picked up the delusion that you're tough. I hate to tell you, but you don't know what tough is. For as many times as I've seen you cry at the first sign of adversity, you're as far from tough as anyone could be. The truth of it is that you don't know how much tougher life is than you are. You don't know what its like to actually take a beating from life. You always have someone there to bail you out and rally around you when the chips are down in your life. Lucky for you, the crowd you have now is there for you - but given time, none of them will be there. You're going to wake up and you're going to be 40 - still listening to 311, still smoking stupid amounts of pot and still trying to get your boyfriend off his ass to do something with his life. Let me fast-forward you to the end - it's never going to happen. In the meantime, do me (and the rest of the world) a favor - don't ever have any kids. The last thing this world needs is more whiny insecure self-proclaimed tough-girl princesses with a sense of entitlement running around. It's clear from the way you abandoned my kids that you wouldn't do right by your own. We won't even get into the fact that if you could admit to wronging anyone that you'd never apologize for it, but you sure did turn your back on M pretty quickly. May that be the treatment you receive from others who come into your life until you finally get what I tried to tell you all along: Don't expect from others that which you won't freely give of yourself. You'd know that already, but you're just a kid.
KH - What can I say? Guilt by association. You also turned your back on M, a person who tried to help you figure out what you wanted to do with your life. The same person who spent money we didn't have on your 21st birthday to provide you with first-class accommodations. The same person who stopped us in the middle of what we were doing, put both of our lives on hold and went running to your house to rally around you because you and SH had a 'really bad fight'. We've been there for you, our kids loved you unconditionally and you left all of us high and dry at the first opportunity. If I remember correctly, you were tired of people abusing your friendship and yet you turned your back on one of two people who tried to show you what true friendship was. I guess you know better. A waste of talent who makes an unending chain of bad decisions and has no drive whatsoever to do anything with his life. You can't take example from anyone. Your own friends abuse you to no end and talk shit about your precious girlfriend (not that she doesn't ask for it, to be honest) yet you do nothing. You wait to take your first stand until the person who encouraged you to do so makes a mistake and you blast her. Way to go, chew out someone who got drugged that loved you and did nothing but care for you and tried to give your life some direction because lord knows you aren't finding it on your own. You're an ungrateful prick who's going nowhere in life and you deserve every bit of prejudice people hold against you when they hear about your 'past'. As I've said to SH, may that be the treatment you receive until it finally penetrates your skull that however you treat others, you should expect like treatment. Between yourself and SH, you've shown us that no good deed goes unpunished. You too, sir, are just another punk kid who doesn't know shit about shit.
Now that I have gotten that off of my chest, I can look at these people in the collective and say 'Fuck you.'
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Missing Signs
Ever been driving somewhere and suddenly see blue and red lights in the rear-view mirror? That pit forms in your stomach and the sweat starts to dampen your brow as you reach for the required paperwork and anticipate the outcome of the encounter. Were you speeding? Is a taillight out? Did you turn left at an intersection prohibiting left hand turns? Did you at least signal before you made the turn? What was it you did? Chances are, your excuse of choice will be that you didn't see the sign that told you what you were supposed to do. Maybe you really didn't see the sign that would have saved you worlds of trouble which in this case might result in a fine or a court appearance. With the realization that you missed the sign comes a feeling of regret. "If only I'd seen the sign, I would be in a much better place right now." While I have had this exact same scenario happen to me recently, this same thing happened a long time before on a much larger scale in my life. I am starting to believe that somewhere along the line, I missed a sign.
Through the latter portion of my tenure in high school and despite what my grades in this subject might tell you, it was discovered that I posessed some sort of writing talent. Today my imagination is not what it once was (but then of course I no longer rely on my imagination for the same reasons I needed it as a teen) but I'm sure I have enough to take real-life events and add a touch of artistic license in order to tell a reality based story. Numerous times upon my return from Iraq I had been encouraged to write about my experiences while there, but never sat down to start. Fairly early on in my last deployment to Iraq I had started to write a detailed account of my experience re-enlisting into the Army. I had barely gotten to the point in my story where I was flying to Georgia for basic training when the movie 'Jarhead' came out, which gave Anthony Swofford's gulf-era account of his enlistment into the Marine Corps, a story witch mirrored my own. For whatever reason, I allowed the release of this movie to discourage me from continuing to chronicle my own story. As time wore on I allowed the speculation that too many other soldiers who are as articulate as I am would write about their own experiences, at least a few of which would make it to publishing, to ensure that any desire I had to write anything regarding the war in Iraq would remain stifled. Couple this with a confidence problem of epic proportions and you have the reason why I have not done what so many have fervently encouraged me to do. It is at that juncture in my life that I believe I missed the sign.
I have decided while sitting here tonight that I will go home and review the writings I had started almost some 5 years ago, make a few editing decisions and press on with my efforts to complete the telling of my story. It won't be a verbatim account of what happened during my time overseas, but it will tell the story. Many of the overlooked moments in time during a deployment that take place while working in a hospital in a combat zone and the relationships formed between people who truly couldn't get away from one another is a story that ought to be told and I'm starting to believe that I'm the person who is best able to tell it. I'm not looking for notoriety nor to become wealthy from this effort but I certainly wouldn't turn either away. I do love to tell stories and I don't do enough of what I love as it is, so perhaps it's time to dust off the beginning of my old manuscript and give it yet another try. Sometimes in life when you miss a sign, it can cost you but if you obey the sign each time thereafter, it just might pay dividends...
Through the latter portion of my tenure in high school and despite what my grades in this subject might tell you, it was discovered that I posessed some sort of writing talent. Today my imagination is not what it once was (but then of course I no longer rely on my imagination for the same reasons I needed it as a teen) but I'm sure I have enough to take real-life events and add a touch of artistic license in order to tell a reality based story. Numerous times upon my return from Iraq I had been encouraged to write about my experiences while there, but never sat down to start. Fairly early on in my last deployment to Iraq I had started to write a detailed account of my experience re-enlisting into the Army. I had barely gotten to the point in my story where I was flying to Georgia for basic training when the movie 'Jarhead' came out, which gave Anthony Swofford's gulf-era account of his enlistment into the Marine Corps, a story witch mirrored my own. For whatever reason, I allowed the release of this movie to discourage me from continuing to chronicle my own story. As time wore on I allowed the speculation that too many other soldiers who are as articulate as I am would write about their own experiences, at least a few of which would make it to publishing, to ensure that any desire I had to write anything regarding the war in Iraq would remain stifled. Couple this with a confidence problem of epic proportions and you have the reason why I have not done what so many have fervently encouraged me to do. It is at that juncture in my life that I believe I missed the sign.
I have decided while sitting here tonight that I will go home and review the writings I had started almost some 5 years ago, make a few editing decisions and press on with my efforts to complete the telling of my story. It won't be a verbatim account of what happened during my time overseas, but it will tell the story. Many of the overlooked moments in time during a deployment that take place while working in a hospital in a combat zone and the relationships formed between people who truly couldn't get away from one another is a story that ought to be told and I'm starting to believe that I'm the person who is best able to tell it. I'm not looking for notoriety nor to become wealthy from this effort but I certainly wouldn't turn either away. I do love to tell stories and I don't do enough of what I love as it is, so perhaps it's time to dust off the beginning of my old manuscript and give it yet another try. Sometimes in life when you miss a sign, it can cost you but if you obey the sign each time thereafter, it just might pay dividends...
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